I did Wrong

I just wanna journaling about my life recently.

My days more heavy, I’m not gonna lie.

I still fought, yes I did still fought. Mmm… I don’t know which one I should start , it’s just hard to be explained and weird for me. Now, for everything that I’ve done, I should be responsible for it. God still here, waiting for me. Many times I just neglectful to God on His every voice and word. I don’t wanna see him, maybe it was anger bcs I feel I always failed and God not fair to me. I realize it exact while I writing this journal. I have done do the wrong one that I even cannot imagine it. I did it. Now I have to turn back to Him, I need my eyes to be opened. I really wanna be opened about all the things that already happened to me.

God, sometimes I still feel you not fair to me. I still here God, I feel I just a failed one. What should I do? Where should I go? I don’t know God. I still afraid. I don’t know where should I start. am I not deserve any good things, or maybe my future will be failed? Tell me God please.